Why we fail at our goals

A few weeks into the year and by now lots of goals have been set and equally, lots of us have already failed at them.  We know that 92% of new years resolutions are destined to fail yet year after year we promise ourselves this time its going to be different. So why is it that we repeatedly set out with good intentions but each time we can’t make the changes we want to create the life want?

Here’s some reasons that might be holding you back and what to do about them:

It’s the wrong goal

In a culture overwhelmingly influenced by advertising and social media, there’s so much pressure to look and be a certain way or to have certain things and goals can be created from this perspective of inadequacy and comparison.  We forget to consider what’s really important to us and in doing so we don’t have a solid foundation as to why we’re doing what we doing.

Ask yourself these questions and see what common themes come up in your answers to help direct you to the goal you really want:

  • If I knew I couldn’t fail what would I do?
  • If I knew there was no financial risk what would I do?
  • If I knew my decisions wouldn’t upset anyone what would I do?
  • If I had more time each week what would I do?
  • If I have more energy each week what would I do?

Your goal conflicts with your values

When what we say we’re going to do doesn’t match up with what’s important to us, its an uphill battle.

If the most important thing to you is, for example, your work but you’ve been having some health issues, so you resolve to exercise more. For the first few weeks it’s going well, but after a while, stuff comes up at work and you find yourself skipping that run/walk/gym session and before you know it, its been 2 weeks since you exercised.

Clearly articulate your values and make sure you know how your goals relate to them for better success.

Too many changes too little time

It’s said we can handle up to 3 new habits at once but why make it hard on yourself? Choose one change, commit to it and when that habit is ingrained, add another.  When we commit to too many things at once, it’s overwhelming, drains our brain and energy and makes it easier to slip back to old ways.

No support

Get help.  Its hard to do things on your own, so don’t be afraid to ask friends, family and professionals for help, support and accountability.

Keep these in mind next time you’re setting your goals or re-evaluating the ones you’ve already set.